A Great Article by Dan Glick

When Desire Comes Knocking
Resisting the Appeal of Immorality

“He who commits adultery lacks understanding; he who does it destroys himself”
Proverbs 6:32(ESV)

Several years ago while flying I was assigned to a seat between two women; I soon discovered that they were related. The woman to my left was the daughter-in-law to the woman (the mother-in-law) on my right. Looking to generate a little conversation after settling into my seat, I asked one of the ladies what she believed was the greatest problem facing women today. That question sparked no small amount of conversation. For the next several hours these women unburdened their hearts. I learned regrettably that the daughter-in-law’s husband, a doctor, was having an affair with a nurse in her twenties. The mother-in-law felt great shame for her son’s behavior and was intensely empathetic with her daughter-in-law!
While not sounding bitter or unforgiving, the wife, who was a Christian, felt deeply the betrayal of her husband. In my estimation, she was between 40-45 years of age, quite attractive and had two teenage children. The children totally despised what their father was doing. His years of moral instruction were being washed away by the raging waves of his own self-destructive behavior. He appeared to them to be a hypocrite of giant proportions. The truth is—he was.
As I listened to these two grieving women, their words were a stark reminder and a grave warning. No sexual liaison with any woman, be it Miss Universe, could possibly be a good exchange for the shame, heartache and devastation that this man was producing, both for his family and for himself. Sin always has its payday, and for this man that day had dawned.
The husband was now trying to piece some of the parts of his life back together, but things were not going well. He was discovering what remorseful adulterers often come to realize; affairs of this nature tend to run their course, and then neither party knows what to do with the other. The situation turns bitter; life becomes awkward and extremely difficult. And while redeemable, things are never quite the same.
Living, as we do in a sex-saturated society, how is it possible to overcome the appeal of immorality? It is safe to say that all of us will feel at some point the power of wrong attraction. Desire happens, and it is a mark of great foolishness to think that we are above such appeal. From the pages of Scripture we learn that Samson, Solomon, and David were all troubled by wrong attractions and their subsequent choice to indulge. The strongest man, the wisest man, and the most devoted man in the Old Testament were thus brought into captivity by the influence of illicit desire. That is reason enough for all believers, even the most pure-minded among us, to avoid being cozy with the thought that we are not susceptible to failure.
But what is the path to purity? How can we resist through an entire lifetime the appeal to sexual immorality? The following is an attempt to answer that question.

Faith in God

Immorality, like all sin, begins with a lack of trust in God. We fail to trust the goodness of God as it is expressed in the commandments of God, especially when those commandments conflict with our desires and emotions. This gives an opening to Satan who can deceive us, like he did the first couple, into believing that God is a kind of cosmic sadist, crafting laws which restrain us from experiencing the good, rather than saving us from what is inherently flawed.
To successfully resist temptation, we need to believe that God’s commandments are given not to limit us, but to save us; not to restrict our good, but to enhance it. God labels immoral behavior evil precisely because He knows it will always result in evil—for everyone involved. Failure to believe what He says and to acknowledge His goodness as reflected in His restrictions lies at the heart of all moral failure.
The problem with the immoral is that when they revolt against the commandments of God and act upon their lust, they believe they are acting in their own best interests. Immorality, however, is never in one’s self interest. It may appear to be, but it will always prove opposite. This is why immorality is more than just sinful behavior; it is stupid behavior. It does nothing to promote one’s own good. On the contrary immorality is a self-demolition project of great proportion. It is essential that faith be exercised in a good God who is acting in our self-interest when He forbids it.

Focus on the consequences

The wise sayings of Solomon inform us that the adulterer lacks sense or understanding. This is true for two reasons: first, the adulterer holds the misguided belief that lasting pleasure can be realized without bothering to pursue holy behavior, and secondly, because the adulterer fails to sufficiently comprehend the deadly outcome of such action. In twenty-seven years of ministry, I have never met an immoral person who was either happy after the adultery or who had sufficiently counted the cost of such behavior before the adultery.
Some years ago a young man asked me if I thought it was a good practice to enumerate the ways that immorality would adversely affect his life and use that information to fight his temptations. Not only did I encourage such thinking, I offered to be of assistance. Here is at least a partial list:
Adultery betrays the trust of the offended spouse and forces him/her to deal with a mountain of issues—bitterness, forgiveness, disillusionment, destroyed self-esteem, fear—to name a few. It is generally easier to deal with the death of a spouse than with marital infidelity. Adultery murders the spirit of the faithful spouse.
Children will be deeply disappointed and will find it difficult to believe in the parent again. The opportunity is gone forever to look children in the face and encourage them to follow the moral example of the parent.
Friends will feel awkward and not know how to respond to the offender.
The church will be forced to rescind membership and take away ministerial credentials if the offender is ordained.
A good name and reputation will be soiled if not permanently damaged. Scripture warns of this consequence. “A wound and a dishonor shall he [the adulterer] get and his reproach shall not be wiped away” (Proverbs 6:33).
Conscience will be defiled, relationship with God severed, and in the place of God’s blessing—judgment. “For God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
The claim of “love” which the adulterer usually professes will be seen for the lust and the spite that it really is. Dragging a person into guilt, shame, and defilement can hardly be considered anything but the antithesis of true love.
Possibilities for the future may have been promising, but now they will be seriously diminished, if not forfeited.
How could any illicit sexual relationship be worth reaping a harvest of such heartache and devastation? Focusing on a list like this, especially during times of temptation, could prove to be preventative.

Flee temptation

Paul’s advice to believers is that they should “flee from sexual immorality” (I Corinthians 6:18). To the young minister, Timothy, he wrote “flee youthful passions” (II Timothy 2:22). Temptation is not something with which to argue, reason, or play; it is that from which we should flee. The Old Testament character Joseph is an excellent illustration of one who did just that (Genesis 39:12). When pressed by Potiphar’s wife to engage in an illicit relationship, he quickly and rightly fled the house.
There will be situations in life that call for this sort of radical action. A friendship may need to be terminated; a place of employment changed; a cherished entertainment abandoned, a trip alone canceled, a computer set in an open place. Any of these actions could very well represent what Paul meant by his admonition to “flee temptation”.
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus also spoke in radical terms (even if they were figurative) when he said that an eye should be plucked out and a hand cut off if they are the means by which one is led into sin. Something very cherished may have to be deserted in order to keep one’s purity, but for the Christian the loss of virtue always trumps the loss of the tangible and the temporal.

Filled with the Spirit

Any message on overcoming the appeal of the immoral would not be complete without consideration being given to the importance of staying filled with the Holy Spirit. In spiritual matters, we simply cannot afford to run on empty. Without inward joy, and contentment, and spiritual satisfaction, any Christian can become vulnerable to the appeal of the flesh. The antidote to immorality is spirituality and the inward fullness of the Holy Spirit. St. Paul’s advice is to “Walk in the Spirit” and we “will not fulfill the lust of the flesh” (Galatians 5:16). One cannot walk in the Spirit unless one stays filled with the Spirit, and living and walking in the Spirit is our strongest defense against sensual appeal. When our inward joy exceeds the outward allure of sin, it is not difficult to resist. Deeply satisfied within, we will not be looking for something to satisfy without.
Jason and the Sirens is a story from Greek mythology that is illustrative of this point. The Sirens and their fatal attraction are described in many ancient writings. The Sirens were seductive “bird-women” who lived in a flowery meadow on an island called Sirenum Scopuli. This island was surrounded by rocks and cliffs that proved deadly to any crew whose ship ventured too closely to the shore. The Sirens had a beautiful, captivating song by which they were given the power to destroy men.Unlucky seaman who came a little too near the island inhabited by the Sirens would become so enthralled by their irresistibly beautiful music and seductive voices that they would shipwreck against the rocky coast and subsequently drown.
In Homer’s Odyssey, Odysseus and his crew had to pass by the island inhabited by the seductive Sirens. Odysseus knew that if extra measures were not taken, he and his crew would lose their lives. Odysseus had his men’s ears plugged with wax. He himself was curious about what the song and voices of the Sirens sounded like, so he had his men tie him tightly to the mast instead, to prevent him from steering the ship into the rocks as he listened. Upon hearing the Siren’s song, he begged to be released, but his crew held fast and would not let him go. Soon, they passed the island and out of range of the Sirens.
When Jason and the Argonauts had to traverse closely to the island, he followed a wiser strategy. Having been forewarned of the Sirens, he asked Orpheus to play loud and beautiful music on his lyre when they passed by the island so that his men would not hear the captivating song of the Sirens. Orpheus did as Jason directed and the men captivated by their own music, never heard the seductive call of the Sirens.
I suppose there are several ways to fight temptation. One way is to strive in one’s own strength, heroically struggling against the flesh, doing the equivalent to plugging one’s ears or tying oneself to the mast of the ship. A better and wiser course would be to stay so filled with the inner music of the Holy Spirit, finding such joy and satisfaction in Jesus Christ, that the appeal of the flesh is greatly diminished, while virtue and purity are preserved.

All Four Are Important

In answering the question, “How may we overcome the appeal of the immoral?” it is important that we give due consideration to all four of these areas. It is needful that we place total faith in a loving and wise God who points us to the good life and away from disaster by way of His commandments, that we focus on the negative consequences of immoral actions, that we flee temptation when it comes knocking, and that we stay filled with the Holy Spirit. Each one of these areas is vital, and taken together, they form a strategy that will keep us empowered to remain sexually pure and faithfully committed to our spouse “till death do us part.”